Tuesday 17 January 2017

Beatles Photos But Not A Beatles Post

I know i don't post much hear anymore, but lately a lot has
been going on , and i don't have a much time as i used to. 
I have a million projects on the go at one, for two reasons, 
one... i'm always looking to the next thing.... and two, i'm
trying to give myself something else to think about other then 
a bad situation, i find myself somehow caught up in.
I have been with my girlfriend (who is also a massive beatles fan)
now for 3 years and a few months. But we are actually into 
the 4th year now. I talk to her more then i do a lot of family 
members. She is a massive support for me, and i feel i can tell her
anything. And i really hope she feels the same way for me.
It's a very loving relationship, built on trust and a very strong
understanding of each other. I can honestly say we never really 
fight or argue either. So to write this down. It seems like the 
perfect long distance relationship. We don't like the distance but
we make it work. But my Girlfriend, lately, has been very down, 
and when shes down, it effects me to. I never like seeing herr 
upset. She is truly the most beautiful girl i have seen. 
But she can't see that. 
She is also strong, and brave, yet lately she doubts that. 
She has a massive heart, and because of that she is controlled. 
NOT BY ME. I'd just like to say. But she is bullied in her own 
words, by a family Member. 
Made to feel that if she doesn't learn to do the things he 
expects, then she is a failure and most of all she is scared, 
scared she will be forced to do something she doesn't want to do. 
Something she is not comfortable, with, just so he can say his 
plans for her and how her life would be worked out. 
This family member is constantly bringing up driving and getting
a job. college, and getting another boyfriend (who isn't me)
I'm not going to lie, i want her to always  be around to talk to. 
Who wouldn't shes my girlfriend right? But i know she has 
her own life to. So if SHE wanted to drive, or work at a dollar
store, then i'd support her, try and encourage her as much as i 
could.  
However when i wake up and go to sleep with messages telling 
me how scared she is she will be forced to drive or attend 
college with people she has never met before. I have to be on 
her side then again to, i have to support her feelings. 
Her feelings is she really wants to be with me, 
But she is so scared that the only chance we get to spend time
together is over a laptop screen, that her family members might 
take the internet connection away if she doesn't do as they 
order. This is a very sad and upsetting time, as i watch her 
battle to stay up, stay happy. Even though with every passing
day of being niggled at and being talk to about the same things
is slowly breaking her. I'm not liked by her dad, 
so i believe all this could be just because of me being with her, so 
of course that makes me feel terrible as i feel i am the one 
letting her be put through this. But as there is nothing a poor 
artist can do, not even buy a plane Ticket. i have to just sit back
and watch her fade, and to me that's the most saddest thing. 
But i will continue to support and love her forever. 
I love you my princess
xxxxx

No comments:

Post a Comment